What Destroys Me, Also Nourishes Me

"WHATEVER DOESN'T KILL ME, MAKES ME STRONGER"

It's good to be selfish.
It's good to put yourself before others.
It's not a sign of a bad morals but a sign of self pride and inner strength.
And only that helps you sail through the murky challenges that life unexpectedly throws at you.
Things that are not worth keeping should be done away with if they begin to cause you pain. However close they might have been to you.
If someone breaks your heart, don't sink beneath your grief.
In life, things can go horribly wrong ( show me bad and I'll show you worse), but the good point is they force us to throw those rose tinted glasses and take a reality check. experience the real world..
And at any cost, never compromise on your self esteem. NEVER.
So instead of sulking over bad phases, take it up as a challenge and make yourself stronger.
Cries and complaints are for the weak.
And I am not weak.
But I feel the pain too as I am only human. My heart aches and tears well up in my eyes too.
But I don't indulge in self pity. That's a sin I'll do against myself.
Hence, my pain and anger can never break me.
One day I will look back at my life and think - If that had not happened to me, I would never have reached where I am today.
Convert failures into your turning points.
Take lessons from it and rise higher.
And take a promise from yourself today that no outside force, NOTHING  in this world has the right to make you sad and weak.
Your top priority is YOU. Everything comes after that.
So smile and move on.
The pain will ultimately go. But you have no need to be miserable till that happens.
Talk to people who care. Go to your friends for help. And thank them for hearing you out.
Take it as a mission and heal that agonizing hole in your heart.
Do constructive things that you have been postponing for long. Take it up now and do it.
And show yourself that good things CAN come out through the worst situations.
And that YOU alone are the true MASTER of your heart.

Welcome to the real world. It sucks, but you're gonna love it.

(the last line is taken from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. rest is my rant)

:(

score 60 se seedha 37 ???  :(

I have no time to blog really..that's why my score is going down..I've some other more important scores to worry about right now..

but still   :(

Moo...

I have suddenly started to like milk all over again...after a gap of 10 years :D ....Thank you cow! :)

...

Resolving never to watch/read political news is one of the most sensible decisions I've made in my whole unremarkable life!! I would much rather stay on the unfashionable bylanes than join the respected chaotic mainstream. At least I get to keep my sanity. To hell with all that nonsense.



-my hermitic tendencies



And by the way, calling yourself agnostic is the safest bet when you don't give a dingo's kidney about the whole issue. That way atheists won't ridicule you for being ignorant or believers won't loathe you for being arrogant plus you give out an impression that you 'think'.

-i have no idea why i said that.

:)

ME : Shaun,you idiot! You really muck around a lot..walked on my blog page also. 

SHEEP : BAA...

Strange Connections

I have always tried to figure out why I am always so keen on visiting sea shores whenever the topic of vacation comes up. It’s as if my mind has got the words,vacation and ocean,wedded to each other forever. Not to underestimate the beauty of green hills or snowy mountains , vast deserts or eager waterfalls, but to me there is nothing as profound and mysterious as the ocean. I set out on my journey and while cruising along that serpentine hill road, no matter how tiring the journey has been,the first glimpse of that distant sparkling water lifts my spirits in a jiffy. And as I move closer,the glimpses become more and more frequent until finally the ocean reveals itself to me in it’s full dominating,magnificent glory. And for a moment,I am lost.Instead of raising the pressure on the gas pedal to hurry up the meeting ,I purposefully slow down to relish this beautiful experience. I am in no rush to hug my old pal.In fact I take it slow. I need my time to trace and reconnect my old relations with him.

I remember the first time when I went with my parents to Goa and witnessed this miracle called ocean,I was neither scared nor brimming with enthusiasm.I was instead puzzled and lost ,for I had never seen anything so huge in my tiny life span.I kept looking at it with an awe-struck and surprised countenance. So many years have gone by since then and so many visits have been made, but not a  thing has changed about my first reaction at the sight of this beautiful monster.

But once that initial stage of mute reverence wears off and I finally hit the beach,I want no more of that silent expectant wait.I just want to rush and feel the cold water kiss my feet.But my legs fail me for they aren’t made for running on that thick bed of sand. And even if anybody tries to do that, he ends up looking like a waddling little duck ,the sight of which is oddly funny. So I,condemned to being too self conscious,am forced to take it slow. But the wait is worth it. As I come nearer the water ,the joy of throwing those slippers away and feeling the cold water on my feet can’t be compared with anything else. “This is precisely what I am here for,for this very moment”, I tell myself. As I push myself farther, the waves get stronger and try to drag me along on their return journey. I wonder if it’s really the force of water or that odd desire of my heart that wants me to be washed away with it, taken away from the wretched land of sins into the timelessness of this vast ocean in front of me (don't be scared,I am not suicidal). And once again ,I feel that strange connection I had with the oceans. Something pulls me towards it. Probably, the beautiful memories I take home from my previous visits get blurred with time.They get erased,one by one and what remains with me is only the 'pleasant feeling' I had experienced.Those fogged memories further add to the surreality of the whole experience and makes it so beautifully haunting that I feel the urge to go back to it again and again to relive that old connection. I don’t exactly set out for the oceans with an idea of jumping wildly into the water.I can very well sit on the shore for long and stare at that jostling water without a blink. What a beautiful thing this ocean is! It’s serene and threatening at the same time. At times, it lies still like a wise mountain sage but when it roars in its wicked powerful rage, even the biggest of the big ships hold on to their dear lives. It has the calm of deep spiritual knowledge but also has the fury of a scorned poor man. Often it comes across as a devoted, caring father who looks after the life that’s entirely depending on him. The life that thrives in it. With so many human emotions displayed, how can we call it non living ?

Sometimes while roaming on a beach at night, if I close my eyes, the crashing sound of the waves hitting the shore gives me goose bumps. What is it? Just a massive collection of water or the nature’s beautiful liquid poetry?

May be this queer feeling comes from realizing how minuscule we are in front of this nature. Our worries, our problems, they dissolve to nothingness in this enormous ocean. And I quietly surrender myself to it, not in defeat but in awe of its ungraspable glory. In its unquestionable superiority .A complete surrender.While floating in that water, it’s not just your body but also the mind  that feels light. Because the  weight of all needless concerns and unnecessary issues which it carries, also gets lifted off. Thus,whenever I get tired of the same old daily routine, my mind desires to seek its release into the arms of the ocean. Everybody should have a place where they can completely let go of themselves and feel one with the nature. Mine is oceans. And if anybody asks me where I would want to spend my next vacation, my answer is ready. “Salty waters.Here I come, baby.”

(the urge for writing this post was kindled by Herman Melville's novel 'Moby Dick' since his thoughts on the beauty of the ocean happened to resonate with mine.The word 'ungraspable glory' has been copied unchanged from the book since it pretty much sums up the entire range of emotions which the author of the book and the owner of this blog wanted to convey.)

Go Weird

Ha ha ha... this one's really cute :D .I remember when the first time in my life I watched a zombie movie (called 'Night of the living dead') ,for almost an hour,I was walking around in my house,acting like one of those zombies in the movie.I loved those zombie postures so much, I immediately added it to my 'crazy wish-list' to play that part in some kick-ass zombie-fest someday.

Come to think of it.Wouldn't it be so cool, scaring people with your weirdest walks and growls? I for one,would wear the quintessential zombie make up n dress and would assume that perfect 'Night Of The Living Dead' zombie posture which typically has a sloping shoulder line (one shoulder way up and other way down),one leg twisted in an abnormal angle (as much as a normal hip joint would permit ) and the other suspended loose in an attempt to make it look crippled,a walk that looks like a snail speed drag with a few sudden jerks thrown here n there,neck bent on the side of your drooping shoulder,one hand rather firm,held close to the body and the other stretched out trying to grab your victim,while making that loud grrhhh grrhhh sound :). But what use is a zombie without those million dollar facial expression? Mouth agape,staring big dark wicked eyes and face contorted to the highest grade of awkwardness and finally when that damsel hits you across your face with a religious symbol,usually a cross,you spin half a circle,let out a harsh scream,crash on the ground and lie motionless..Phew.

It's definitely not easy to play a zombie on screen.You really have to get into the skin of your character and really believe that you are that deformed, demented, ugly creature,otherwise you would never be able to make it look real on screen.You have to make sure your audience gasps and holds that breath in their chest as long as you are on screen.But perhaps,the most difficult part that needs a great deal of practice here, is to be able to control that irresistible laughter when you know you are looking your dumbest in front of the entire camera crew.You see it's not easy to do it..That's why I love you Zombie darlings.You are the best ! :D

cute,aren't they ? :p   .For more,click here

Craptasic Randomosity ;)

Warning- This is going to be ridiculous.Wanna take a chance? Go ahead.

Sometimes in my lucid dreams,I find my fingers magically set into some kind of a graceful,rapid movement,tapping swiftly on the keys of my lappy and churning out a fabulously attractive blog post.I can see that with every fancy,effective and 'loaded' sentence,my grin goes wider and wider,making me feel too smug about myself and giving me the confidence that can take on Dickens and Austen someday.(okay,shameless high-flier.But Chetan Bhagat,at least ? :p ).Popularity,advertisement requests,getting rich,mesmerizing the world with my literary prowess.And then at the height of this blissful ride...I wake up.Damn it!

My mind is a conniving little brat.Plays tricks with me even in waking time..I sometimes wonder what topic to choose on which I can write almost obsessively .Vague,fancy ideas and lines flash in my head,but when I actually log into my blog,I find myself staring at the screen for a looooong time only to sign out after a couple of minutes,returning 'khaali haath' as they say,feeling rather dejected.Who said crappy writers can't have writer's block? Ask me,I suffer from it all the time.In fact it's the block that continues to remind me that I am a writer in first place.*JOKE* neva mind !! Anyway,Such is my brain.Highly unresourceful and unreliable! Always keen on playing hide n seek just when I need it the most..Talking about brain,well I bet my hippocampus (the memory center) is one terrifically tortured soul these days.Given the awful amount of dull and dead mcq book information that I keep throwing at him to store,it hardly ever gets any rest.And thus my revengeful hippo,acting in a consorted rebellion,holds my creative areas from kicking in whenever I set out to write a new post..Long story short,I am bored,I can't think of anything worthwhile to write,so I resort to writing.......this! But, considering the limited viewership that my blog enjoys presently,and the viewers happen to be too sweet to ever stone me to death for wasting their precious time over trash,I can still get away with writing some.But I guess I am running low on fuel to cook up even that now.Sheer misery.

I am so eagerly waiting for these exams to get over so that I can have my normal life and yeah,my entire bed back.You see, I am a bed-hog! I spread out my limbs in all directions.But currently, some monsters,smelling of paper and ink have encroached upon the space and I am forced to curl up in a rigid posture and retain it for the entire night.I dream of a day when I will have novels and movie DVDs in my book shelf which currently holds Harrison ,Mudit Khanna and Amit Ashish.Even that wooden thing must be tired of showcasing the same nerdy stuff now.It gets gawked at every time the guests are on a tour to my house.Now who likes to receive so much attention for all nerdy reasons? First, the glances are on the books,then upon me,and I feel awkward as hell.Yes,I am a doctor...Big deal ! I am not sure I can save your life if you suddenly throw a fit or choke your coronaries right here.It's been a year since I saw any patient ,you know.And I don't earn a single penny.I have virtually grounded myself for over a year and now,my brain has slowly begun to revolt after being force fed the same dull information from last 6 yrs :( . After all ,there is a limit to which one can take.

Damn! I guess I am crying way too much.In fact,I have written one highly engaging poem about my sulk instincts .Read it at your peril-

"I fret,fret,fret,

over this long long wait,

damn you destiny, open thy gate.

I forever whine,

like a fat swine,

and I'll add any rubbish line,

just to make my crappy poem rhyme"

Anyway.They say in their rules of smart blogging, that a post should not exceed a maximum of 250 words........let me count.........way over the limit..Time to wind up! :) Dear readers,I am leaving you with this beautiful song from Twi-Eclipse soundtrack that has stuck in my head big time.Go,get it stuck in yours too :p. Bye. :)

http://mp3bear.com/beck-and-bat-for-lashes-lets-get-lost

Thank you.. :)

It's my birthday today.and i want to thank my mother for having gone through all that pain for bringing me out into this world..and it's not just for the labour pain but for all the efforts she took to feed me on time,keep me safe,protect me when i could not protect myself,for making the best food in the world to keep her little angel happy,for all the hugs n kisses,for all the forgiveness and unconditional love she gave me without asking anything in return,for bearing with my adolescent bouts of angst,frustration,temper tantrums,for all the chocolates and cakes she showered me with :) ,for her patient persistence,for teaching me to love n care,for being strong when i wasn't and for almost each n everything..thank you mommy dearest!!you are the best..
and my dad,how can i not thank him?my friend,my guide,my inspiration.for working so hard to support and protect his family,for playing with me and making me laugh like crazy,for being such a jovial person,for making me feel so safe and secure,for teaching me to drive a car when i seriously doubted my non-existent skills of learning,for believing in me and for being the best dad in the world!! love you guys.love you the most..