Know Thyself

( being a member of human species which is self-aware unlike other animals and has the capacity to think, i was bound to question some basic aspects of my existence in this mind boggling universe. and in order to make sense of things, i always relied upon the power of human intellect and logical reasoning rather than on mystic faith and blind belief. the purpose of my life, the nature of this universe, the concept of god, the good and the evil, who's to decide the codes of morality and what separates right from wrong, these questions have haunted me from as long as i can remember. but now, i am slowly getting my answers. i make no more demands from this place, i don't seek for coherence and rationality behind its ways. i take the world the way it is. i take full responsibility of my life and accept the absurd around me as it is.)

In your every beauty, there is malice. In malice, there is innocence and indifference.

In your infinity my creator, of what value is my existence?

Gazing at the starry skies, behind that angelic beauty,

Looms a despairing pointlessness which my heart alone sees.

Billion jewels scattered in space. Some bright, some dead.

Spinning and rotating is all their fate.

My abode is pretty .Here clouds gather, they roar and pour.

Waves retreat and again crash on the shore.

The emerald carpet, it breathes and blooms. Soon worn out, retires into gloom.

Life in its inception was branded with doom.

Primordial life, it crept and evolved.

Here I am, still riding the wave. Dazed and unaware of ‘where’ and 'why' of it all.

Is human existence mere instinctual? It observes, it questions.

The thing that beats in me, pines for a purpose.

What do we stand for? Let me hear.

Live till 70 or die tomorrow. A mere blink in your cosmic year.

But it was long before I realized, I was shooting in the dark.

Universe will always be silent to all our cries and calls.

Like Sisyphus, we all roll our own boulders up the hill.

All the while knowing, it will slide back down the moment we reach the peak.

Now I know what I tried to seize and hold was nothing but the sand that slipped out through my fingers before I could know.

The world is absurd and shall remain so.

Go; wrap it in pretty ribbon of mystic faith and sing in its praise with eloquence,

It’s only truth that I shall forever behold.

So now, with the fall of my delusion, where should I go?

Bemoan the loss and wander in negation? Lose hopes and burn in nihilism?

No!!!

I chose rugged truth over a cozy lie.This randomness, I won't curse nor defy.

I confront it and in its face, I’ll stand tall and smile.

I have reached the end of my trail.

I need no death or faith to free me. I am already liberated.

Nothing imprisons me. no god, no religion, no fear of hell, no lure of heaven.

And still my values stand. Not imposed but rather chosen.

Though in this randomness, everything is justified.
the good and the bad, thrive alongside in the same empty sky.

But our sufferings are real and life is sacred.

And in upholding its sanctity, I find the way of my life.

The Rubaiyat

Selected verses from  'The Rubaiyat'  of  Omar Khayyam. ( a Persian polymath of the 11th century )
Originally written in Persian language. Below is its literal English translation which i luckily found during one of my random surfing escapades. Read on and plunge yourself into the beauty of his writing.

"The secrets eternal, neither you know nor i

and answers to the riddle, neither you know nor i

Behind the veil there is much talk about us, why

when the veil falls, neither you remain nor i"

Don't permit sorrow to be your friend

sadness and pain will become your trend

Don't let the book or the farm you tend

rule your life before to earth you descend

Once transpired can not be changed

only pain will come if remorse engaged

Though with sorrow you may be aged

Not even a dot will be rearranged

All my companions, one by one they died

with angel of death, they now reside

In the banquet of life, the same wine we tried

a few cups back, they fell to the side

Some always seek the rational mind

some will appeal to faith that's blind

If you turn within, you will surely find

both paths will lead you further behind

I would rather be compassionate

than piously pray and fast

God is loving, god is great

He is my destroyer, He is my mate

The grass that grows by every stream

like angelic smiles faintly gleam

Step gently, cause it not to scream

for it has grown from a lover's dream

When the creator forged the nature

why imperfect was the venture

If it is good, why departure

and if bad, why form the capture

Anxiously i began this course

with life, my awe grew even worse

Unwillingly returned with force

what was the point, i ask my source

Beloved friends let's gather

for each other, together care

With raised cup, salute and share

in memory of he who isn't there

In the wheel of fortune, the unseen vine

drink, be merry, wait your turn in line

When it is your turn, neither cry nor whine

everyone must taste the same deadly wine

Oh friend, lets not think of tomorrow

cherish this moment, far from sorrow

Life is a temporal gift that we borrow

whether dead for ages or leave tomorrow"...

and in homage to his genius, a little nothing from this lesser mortal 

"all the religions and philosophies, your poem transcends
 a tired soul of mine , in your love it comes and rests
 wait a while ,see the beauty it says
 drink in the dawn before dusk pervades"

Brink Of Eternity

In desperate hope I go and search for her
in all the corners of my room;
I find her not.

My house is small
and what once has gone from it can never be regained.

But infinite is thy mansion, my lord,
and seeking her I have to come to thy door.

I stand under the golden canopy of thine evening sky
and I lift my eager eyes to thy face.

I have come to the brink of eternity from which nothing can vanish
---no hope, no happiness, no vision of a face seen through tears.

Oh, dip my emptied life into that ocean,
plunge it into the deepest fullness.
Let me for once feel that lost sweet touch
in the allness of the universe.

-Rabindranath Tagore

Reflections

Your empty words won't soothe me,
I am too complex to be tamed by your farcical philosophies.
Your rigid virtues, selfish moralities nauseate me,
Your fake smiles,fake living,fragile egos,
your sick ambitions,selfish aspirations,
I can see it all.But I maintain my silence and an apparent indifference.
But no, I can't follow your ways.Nothing attracts me to such a life,
Your worldly possessions won't allure me.
Your crude patriotism and politics,your fake pride and emotional coldness sicken me.
You are your car,your house,your money,
your parties,your hangovers,your labels and brands,
There's nothing more to you.You end there.
I am an unfinished work,a task in progress,a vessel to be filled,an unexplored continent.
and I will take my time.
Yes,I am a pool of confusion,irony,contradiction,a victim of my own inner upheaval
but I have a chance that you probably don't.
I may be obnoxious because I challenge your ideology,
because I question too much,
because I am not happy with the current state of affairs,
because I ask for some changes.
because at times,I am an atheist and a nihilist,
which creeps you out,
because you can't gather enough courage to face these questions.You are just so afraid.
But there is one more thing that separates us,
You hate me endlessly
but I,
I don't hate you
I don't pity you.
I don't even condemn you.
I only request you to come on this side and see the view.
Who knows,you might be the knowledge we all seek,
you might be the light we need in times so bleak.
But the journey is long and the path is not clear,
and certainly, not without a possibility of a catastrophic failure
like a faithless soul,lost in the vast dark space.
May be that scares you.
But how long can you go on fooling yourself and run away from the 'question' ?
You want a quick-fix, but it's not the solution.
What's the fun in being where you stand right now? A fool's paradise.
You are sitting on a bomb that nastily goes off at all wrong times.In series.
And you are left devastated,your faith crumbled,your hopes crushed and you curse the quick-fix that never promised a permanent cure.
Get a grip.Take a leap of faith.
Explore the deepest corners of your mind,ask questions and seek answers for yourself,
and may be,help us seek ours.
Join in the force of spiritual revolution
give some hope to the next generation
and give them a purpose that's real.
A logical answer and no candy floss, lame answers.
Let's all get together and initiate a wave of change.
In the process,we might lose something,
but was that even worth keeping?
I don't care if human race vanishes from earth in next 100 or 1000 years,
till the time we are here, breathing ,we deserve some explanation.
We deserve a system of faith that won't fall apart with every tiny firecracker explosion,
the truth that lasts,strong and steady.Not just another illusion.
We may not reach the shores with the wave we are creating,
but someone will.And that's reason enough to get started,isn't it?

Who is your best friend?

I have forgiven her
for all the wrongs she has done so far,
for all the mistakes she did knowingly or unknowingly,
for all her inadequacies,
for all her designing n functional faults,
for all the wrong decisions she has made,
for all the harsh words she has uttered and the pain it caused to others and to herself,
for all the stupidities she has done..
and in turn,she forgave me
for being so harsh to her,
for being so critical about everything she did ,
for judging her based on other people's opinions ,
for cursing her for something that was never her fault ,
for hating her unconditionally,
for digging up past events to make her feel bad about herself,
for not appreciating her enough whenever she did anything commendable..

BUT now,

Now we have patched up our frayed relations.
my savage brutality towards her is over.
we love each other now.
and I've found my best friend in her.
now she confides in me without hesitation.
because,now she knows that i would never leave her side.
even if she does something stupid,she knows i would still love her.
even if she fails,she will not be afraid of trying again.
because, I am there to support her through her journey of life
And I have accepted her just the way she is.
and she said,this tranquility and peace will encourage her to improve herself in a healthy atmosphere.
she is confident that,with my support, she can survive even the biggest setbacks in life,
and still come out as a winner.
I will always listen to her and she will march ahead in life fearlessly.
We are now best friends.and shall never part ways again.
How can we? when she happens to live right 'WITHIN ME'.
My soul,my mind,my heart..I don't know what to call her,
apart from knowing that she is somewhere inside,who makes me what I am.what I think.what I do. 'SHE IS ME'.
And I am happy to say that I love myself!with all the faults.with all the inadequacies.with all the imperfections.
Nobody is born perfect!we work on ourselves all the time towards improvement.
But it is equally important to love ourselves through this process.and never be too hard on ourselves when we fail to meet our own expectations.
for where are we gonna go?we can run away from the world but how can we run away from ourselves?
We can't.
So give yourself another chance.
So what if you failed?Get up,dust off the dirt n start again.
Don't let others decide how you should be treating yourself.get rid of that burden of guilt and start afresh!
We all make our share of mistakes n stupidities and this is precisely how we learn and grow.
your confidence,your faith,your spirit lies right within you.just listen to it!
You can't afford to cross swords with it.
As someone has wisely said-"You can't expect to win a battle,when your enemy has his outposts in Your Head"
So,go ahead.It's time to shake hands with your best friend :)








-this article is for all those who are excessively critical towards themselves and never seem to be happy for whatever they are.guys,ease up.loosy-goosy baby.take a chill pill.love thy neighbor but more importantly, love thyself...


-a non stop preacher.