In Search of a Balance

Alright ! Enough of this internal journey and exploration thing. Guess i have given more than required time for 'knowing myself' and 'enlightenment' and stuff :D. I am getting a feeling that my upper chakras have grown so enormously big that they are now shadowing and scaring the under developed lower ones. (I don't believe in the theories of chakras. It's just to let you know what i mean in a concise way). It was a nice experience though. I have traveled greatly inside my mind and spent tonnes of ATP's over this expedition. All in an attempt to get to know things better, dissecting human emotions, philosophical reading and so on. (oh i am no scholar in these subjects. not even close. If you ask me theories of it, i won't be able to answer you. I only got a better grasp over things that i felt but didn't understand at that time). It was all immensely helpful. Some questions and some of my own deductions were boiling up inside me and i needed somebody to share them with. So books became my friends and my mind-- my experimental lab. and my dear readers too happily participated and helped me further with their views on things. Thank you all. It definitely added an extra dimension to my personality. Now i've a reason to believe that i am not that naive anymore :).

But lately, i have had this irksome feeling that i am concentrating too much upon my internal world and completely neglecting the outer one. Both things need to be balanced out properly for our optimum growth as a person. I had even begun to feel a bit  'trapped'  inside my body :P..It was too small a place for a spirit so enormous (Not bragging. but the way our spirit takes flight and roams freely in the world of imagination, it can never be matched by our bodies ). Sometimes i wished i could disappear and look at the world more closely without humanly limitations (it happens, seriously. not kidding). But now, i am coming out. But still, i have one reason to worry -- my habit of going at an extreme of anything i undertake should not make me so outwardly oriented this time that i begin to neglect the inner growth completely :D..Strike out a balance Namrata. Stop being a pendulum that always goes on either ends. Gotta take out that hyper active battery from inside me.Anyways, it's always good to lead an 'examined' life and look at your actions from a third person's view and correct whenever you see yourself going off the path. Born as a human, gotta do what it takes to survive out here. Guess that one year of hectic internship, which was a huge worldly experience in itself, had pushed me to this extreme as a knee jerk reaction.

And one more thing that makes me happy is that i didn't outsource my job of seeking inner peace into the hands of any guru/baba or amma/mata (latest hottest industry). Your brain is not a software that someone else can write codes for it. You gotta tend the soil yourself if you want a rose.

p.s. I won't stop posting things related to philosophy or introspection here. As i said, it won't be a total cut-off. My blog is only a tiny part of my mind. And i will feed it with interesting things whenever i come up with one. And the purpose of writing my new resolution here on a blog was just to reinforce the thought on my mind. I hate to write on a paper so i write here.