Quotes by Jean Paul Sartre

"Man is condemned to be free. Condemned, because he did not create himself, in other respect is free; because, once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does. The Existentialist does not believe in the power of passion. He will never agree that a sweeping passion is a ravaging torrent which fatally leads a man to certain acts and is therefore an excuse. He thinks that man is responsible for his passion."

 "You and me are real people, operating in a real world. We are not figments of each other’s imagination. I am the architect of my own self, my own character and destiny. It is no use whinging about what I might have been, I am the things I have done and nothing more. We are all free, completely free. We can each do any damn thing we want. Which is more than most of us dare to imagine."

tra la la...

                                                  If you are fat

                                                       and you feel like crap....

                                           just put on some tighties

                              and tada..you'll look fab !! :D





hear from the cow's mouth : MOO... (IT WORKS.. IT WORKS.. YAY!)



(p.s. do not kill me for this awful crappy nonsense. i am high )

(p.p.s.  high on allie's blog and chocolate cake)

Yay

Oshonica's poem 'Know Thyself' has been crowned by the editors of the online interactive community called p4poetry. They handpicked the poem and added it to their featured list and Oshonica has been thanked by them for her high class work.

Ah, well..Oshonica is happy :)

Intro-blog-spection.

Sometimes, I do write stuff that I personally would never want to read ;) .I have been writing a lot of philosophical stuff these days. But that's what is on my mind right now. What can I do? It will take time for something else to catch my attention and become my next victim that I can crazily obsess over :). Till then, my uncontrolled purgative urges to write sappy stuff will keep getting the upper hand of me. Dear readers, show patience.

Thank You!

Yours truly.

:)

'I WRITE LIKE' software's tagline should be..

"There are only some writings that I find worth analyzing.


for everything else,


there's a  DAN BROWN


O_O

Personally, I never found his writing tacky in any way. Or was I a terrible reader back then ??

May be..

But come on guys. Cut him some slack. 'Angels and Demons' was a pretty cool stuff.

....

OSHONICA SINCERELY, PASSIONATELY, ABSOLUTELY, DEVOTEDLY........

HATES PAAL!!! ( GECKOS ) 

EEEEEKSS.. :O
and the dirty creature just keeps making its advances towards me. AARGHH...

A Teacher par excellence

   (Dr. Stephen Hicks, Professor of Philosophy at Rockford College,Illinois,USA)

One thing I wanna say to Dr.Stephen Hicks (even though there is no way that he can know it) who has his multiple videos uploaded on youtube and teaches us about things in life that I have had profound interest in --

                                               
                                          *** YOU ARE MY HERO ***


What I spent last ten years searching for and asking myself and pondering and questioning over, all that exercise which was so painful and made worse by the darkness of the path I was traveling 'all alone', all those things I felt in me but my limited power of expression and the intricacy of the topic itself caused them to remain locked up inside me have finally found a voice that is not just eloquent but also compassionate and lucid. Although, I did reach the end of my trail on my own and life from here does look brighter than ever, although the greatest thinkers of postmodern era held my hand and showed me the steps I should take, it is this guy who summed up my journey in the perfect words. He just has a knack of saying all the right things that strike a perfect cord with my feelings. Thanks for being there Dr.Hicks and consider this post as my tribute to your genius and to your efforts in letting it reach us in the most clear way. Thanks for being such a great teacher.

Einstein Baba..

Everybody knows who Albert Einstein was. But a very few might be aware that apart from being a scientist of highest caliber and a Nobel laureate, he was also a wise, clear thinking philosopher. His views on life are a direct extension of his phenomenal work in physics and science in general. Here, he presents his philosophy in the simplest words that can be understood by all. Any person with a little inquisitiveness and original thinking will find something to stop and ponder over in his quotes that follow. Frankly, it surprises me when some people shrug at the mere mention of the word 'philosophy' and assume that their existence has nothing to do with it. Well, if life is a river then philosophy is its flow. Philosophy is not just a subject, it is life and you are living it every moment. How can you be not interested in something when you are in the middle of it?  Anyway. Go through the following quotes. I am sure they will be an interesting and insightful read.


"A human being is part of the whole called by us universe, a part limited in time and space. We experience ourselves, our thoughts and feelings as something separate from the rest. A kind of optical delusion of consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from the prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty. The true value of a human being is determined by the measure and the sense in which they have obtained liberation from the self. We shall require a substantially new manner of thinking if humanity is to survive."

"A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties and needs; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeed be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death.There is nothing divine about morality; it is a purely human affair." ( I remember in my article- Conversations With God-  I had put forth this view regarding morality being born and bred in human conscience and not dictated by some imaginary supreme being. Einstein said the same thing. Swell moment :p )
 
"My religiosity consists in a humble admiration of the infinitely superior spirit that reveals itself in the little that we, with our weak and transitory understanding, can comprehend of reality. Morality is of the highest importance -- but for us, not for God."

"I cannot imagine a God who rewards and punishes the objects of his creation, whose purposes are modeled after our own -- a God, in short, who is but a reflection of human frailty. Neither can I believe that the individual survives the death of his body, although feeble souls harbor such thoughts through fear or ridiculous egotism."
(For more on Einstein and his philosophical views, visit this. If you are  interested in his scientific work, the same weblink has some great collection of that stuff as well.)

Know Thyself

( being a member of human species which is self-aware unlike other animals and has the capacity to think, i was bound to question some basic aspects of my existence in this mind boggling universe. and in order to make sense of things, i always relied upon the power of human intellect and logical reasoning rather than on mystic faith and blind belief. the purpose of my life, the nature of this universe, the concept of god, the good and the evil, who's to decide the codes of morality and what separates right from wrong, these questions have haunted me from as long as i can remember. but now, i am slowly getting my answers. i make no more demands from this place, i don't seek for coherence and rationality behind its ways. i take the world the way it is. i take full responsibility of my life and accept the absurd around me as it is.)

In your every beauty, there is malice. In malice, there is innocence and indifference.

In your infinity my creator, of what value is my existence?

Gazing at the starry skies, behind that angelic beauty,

Looms a despairing pointlessness which my heart alone sees.

Billion jewels scattered in space. Some bright, some dead.

Spinning and rotating is all their fate.

My abode is pretty .Here clouds gather, they roar and pour.

Waves retreat and again crash on the shore.

The emerald carpet, it breathes and blooms. Soon worn out, retires into gloom.

Life in its inception was branded with doom.

Primordial life, it crept and evolved.

Here I am, still riding the wave. Dazed and unaware of ‘where’ and 'why' of it all.

Is human existence mere instinctual? It observes, it questions.

The thing that beats in me, pines for a purpose.

What do we stand for? Let me hear.

Live till 70 or die tomorrow. A mere blink in your cosmic year.

But it was long before I realized, I was shooting in the dark.

Universe will always be silent to all our cries and calls.

Like Sisyphus, we all roll our own boulders up the hill.

All the while knowing, it will slide back down the moment we reach the peak.

Now I know what I tried to seize and hold was nothing but the sand that slipped out through my fingers before I could know.

The world is absurd and shall remain so.

Go; wrap it in pretty ribbon of mystic faith and sing in its praise with eloquence,

It’s only truth that I shall forever behold.

So now, with the fall of my delusion, where should I go?

Bemoan the loss and wander in negation? Lose hopes and burn in nihilism?

No!!!

I chose rugged truth over a cozy lie.This randomness, I won't curse nor defy.

I confront it and in its face, I’ll stand tall and smile.

I have reached the end of my trail.

I need no death or faith to free me. I am already liberated.

Nothing imprisons me. no god, no religion, no fear of hell, no lure of heaven.

And still my values stand. Not imposed but rather chosen.

Though in this randomness, everything is justified.
the good and the bad, thrive alongside in the same empty sky.

But our sufferings are real and life is sacred.

And in upholding its sanctity, I find the way of my life.

What Destroys Me, Also Nourishes Me

"WHATEVER DOESN'T KILL ME, MAKES ME STRONGER"

It's good to be selfish.
It's good to put yourself before others.
It's not a sign of a bad morals but a sign of self pride and inner strength.
And only that helps you sail through the murky challenges that life unexpectedly throws at you.
Things that are not worth keeping should be done away with if they begin to cause you pain. However close they might have been to you.
If someone breaks your heart, don't sink beneath your grief.
In life, things can go horribly wrong ( show me bad and I'll show you worse), but the good point is they force us to throw those rose tinted glasses and take a reality check. experience the real world..
And at any cost, never compromise on your self esteem. NEVER.
So instead of sulking over bad phases, take it up as a challenge and make yourself stronger.
Cries and complaints are for the weak.
And I am not weak.
But I feel the pain too as I am only human. My heart aches and tears well up in my eyes too.
But I don't indulge in self pity. That's a sin I'll do against myself.
Hence, my pain and anger can never break me.
One day I will look back at my life and think - If that had not happened to me, I would never have reached where I am today.
Convert failures into your turning points.
Take lessons from it and rise higher.
And take a promise from yourself today that no outside force, NOTHING  in this world has the right to make you sad and weak.
Your top priority is YOU. Everything comes after that.
So smile and move on.
The pain will ultimately go. But you have no need to be miserable till that happens.
Talk to people who care. Go to your friends for help. And thank them for hearing you out.
Take it as a mission and heal that agonizing hole in your heart.
Do constructive things that you have been postponing for long. Take it up now and do it.
And show yourself that good things CAN come out through the worst situations.
And that YOU alone are the true MASTER of your heart.

Welcome to the real world. It sucks, but you're gonna love it.

(the last line is taken from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. rest is my rant)

'Call Me Ishmael' and the Loomings..

This post is a compilation of some of the most moving passages from the novel 'Moby Dick', a novel considered by many to be a masterpiece and the best American novel to this date.The themes tackled in this novel are far deeper than what appears in its fairly simple plot line.I am trying to create a mental framework that shall help me dive deeper into the book before actually embarking upon my reading voyage. Excellent 'sparknotes' on the internet have been a great help in this regard. I am dead sure the author will compel me to push the limits of each of my philosophical neurons to clinch the message he is trying to convey. All my collective observations and interpretations about the way i have seen this life are going to be put to test. Now this is not a book for entertainment. It's not even for the brain, as brain is limited by its understanding of only the tangible, literal things. This book is for the heart, if i can put it that way. It is for Someone who observes and interprets and not just sees and registers. Someone who frequently breaks away from the civilization to look within. It is for a soul that is conscious of the ultimate fatality at every second of its life and has questioned the innate banality of existence often. I have been forewarned that the book can be tiresome in its few chapters due to its detailing of the technicalities of the whole whaling business,but i am game for it.

For starters, this book is a narrative from a man who decides to go on a long sea voyage out of a deep spiritual quest and ends up with a group of disparate, notably uncivilized but enormously courageous men brought together by one common formidable task of hunting a huge white sperm whale. The ship's captain named Ahab is a mighty heroic figure. He is an angry, vengeful man who won't rest until he kills the whale-Moby Dick. But the plot and the characters in the book are mere metaphors for somethings deeper that can't be easily put down on a paper.

Let me also warn my readers that if they don't know much about the book, the passages can be difficult to comprehend. Basically due to the lack of proper context (I am to blame). But if you are really interested in understanding them, follow this link . I don't really expect comments on this post. This post is for myself. When emotionally overwhelmed, some people talk to themselves..while i write to myself :)

1) All that most maddens and torments; all that stirs up the lees of things; all truth with malice in it; all that cracks the sinews and cakes the brain; all the subtle demonisms of life and thought; all evil, to crazy Ahab, were visibly personified, and made practically assailable in Moby Dick. He piled upon the whale’s white hump the sum of all the general rage and hate felt by his whole race from Adam down; and then, as if his chest had been a mortar, he burst his hot heart’s shell upon it.

2) And there is a Catskill eagle in some souls that can alike dive down into the blackest gorges, and soar out of them again and become invisible in the sunny spaces. And even if he for ever flies within the gorge, that gorge is in the mountains; so that even in his lowest swoop the mountain eagle is still higher than other birds upon the plain, even though they soar.

3) "Towards thee I roll, thou all-destroying but unconquering whale; to the last I grapple with thee; from hell’s heart I stab at thee; for hate’s sake I spit my last breath at thee. Sink all coffins and all hearses to one common pool! and since neither can be mine, let me then tow to pieces, while still chasing thee, though tied to thee, thou damned whale! Thus, I give up the spear!" - Cap.Ahab

4) however baby man may brag of his science and skill, and however much, in a flattering future, that science and skill may augment; yet for ever and for ever, to the crack of doom, the sea will insult and murder him, and pulverize the stateliest, stiffest frigate he can make; nevertheless, by the continual repetition of these very impressions, man has lost that sense of the full awfulness of the sea which aboriginally belongs to it.

5) these are the times of dreamy quietude, when beholding the tranquil beauty and brilliancy of the ocean's skin, one forgets the tiger heart that pants beneath it; and would not willingly remember, that this velvet paw but conceals a remorseless fang.

6) Whenever I find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly November in my soul; whenever I find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral I meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately stepping into the street, and methodically knocking people's hats off--then, I account it high time to get to sea as soon as I can.

Beautiful. Insanely good. Brilliant. Can't wait to begin.

:(

score 60 se seedha 37 ???  :(

I have no time to blog really..that's why my score is going down..I've some other more important scores to worry about right now..

but still   :(

In Search of a Balance

Alright ! Enough of this internal journey and exploration thing. Guess i have given more than required time for 'knowing myself' and 'enlightenment' and stuff :D. I am getting a feeling that my upper chakras have grown so enormously big that they are now shadowing and scaring the under developed lower ones. (I don't believe in the theories of chakras. It's just to let you know what i mean in a concise way). It was a nice experience though. I have traveled greatly inside my mind and spent tonnes of ATP's over this expedition. All in an attempt to get to know things better, dissecting human emotions, philosophical reading and so on. (oh i am no scholar in these subjects. not even close. If you ask me theories of it, i won't be able to answer you. I only got a better grasp over things that i felt but didn't understand at that time). It was all immensely helpful. Some questions and some of my own deductions were boiling up inside me and i needed somebody to share them with. So books became my friends and my mind-- my experimental lab. and my dear readers too happily participated and helped me further with their views on things. Thank you all. It definitely added an extra dimension to my personality. Now i've a reason to believe that i am not that naive anymore :).

But lately, i have had this irksome feeling that i am concentrating too much upon my internal world and completely neglecting the outer one. Both things need to be balanced out properly for our optimum growth as a person. I had even begun to feel a bit  'trapped'  inside my body :P..It was too small a place for a spirit so enormous (Not bragging. but the way our spirit takes flight and roams freely in the world of imagination, it can never be matched by our bodies ). Sometimes i wished i could disappear and look at the world more closely without humanly limitations (it happens, seriously. not kidding). But now, i am coming out. But still, i have one reason to worry -- my habit of going at an extreme of anything i undertake should not make me so outwardly oriented this time that i begin to neglect the inner growth completely :D..Strike out a balance Namrata. Stop being a pendulum that always goes on either ends. Gotta take out that hyper active battery from inside me.Anyways, it's always good to lead an 'examined' life and look at your actions from a third person's view and correct whenever you see yourself going off the path. Born as a human, gotta do what it takes to survive out here. Guess that one year of hectic internship, which was a huge worldly experience in itself, had pushed me to this extreme as a knee jerk reaction.

And one more thing that makes me happy is that i didn't outsource my job of seeking inner peace into the hands of any guru/baba or amma/mata (latest hottest industry). Your brain is not a software that someone else can write codes for it. You gotta tend the soil yourself if you want a rose.

p.s. I won't stop posting things related to philosophy or introspection here. As i said, it won't be a total cut-off. My blog is only a tiny part of my mind. And i will feed it with interesting things whenever i come up with one. And the purpose of writing my new resolution here on a blog was just to reinforce the thought on my mind. I hate to write on a paper so i write here.

Moo...

I have suddenly started to like milk all over again...after a gap of 10 years :D ....Thank you cow! :)

The Rubaiyat

Selected verses from  'The Rubaiyat'  of  Omar Khayyam. ( a Persian polymath of the 11th century )
Originally written in Persian language. Below is its literal English translation which i luckily found during one of my random surfing escapades. Read on and plunge yourself into the beauty of his writing.

"The secrets eternal, neither you know nor i

and answers to the riddle, neither you know nor i

Behind the veil there is much talk about us, why

when the veil falls, neither you remain nor i"

Don't permit sorrow to be your friend

sadness and pain will become your trend

Don't let the book or the farm you tend

rule your life before to earth you descend

Once transpired can not be changed

only pain will come if remorse engaged

Though with sorrow you may be aged

Not even a dot will be rearranged

All my companions, one by one they died

with angel of death, they now reside

In the banquet of life, the same wine we tried

a few cups back, they fell to the side

Some always seek the rational mind

some will appeal to faith that's blind

If you turn within, you will surely find

both paths will lead you further behind

I would rather be compassionate

than piously pray and fast

God is loving, god is great

He is my destroyer, He is my mate

The grass that grows by every stream

like angelic smiles faintly gleam

Step gently, cause it not to scream

for it has grown from a lover's dream

When the creator forged the nature

why imperfect was the venture

If it is good, why departure

and if bad, why form the capture

Anxiously i began this course

with life, my awe grew even worse

Unwillingly returned with force

what was the point, i ask my source

Beloved friends let's gather

for each other, together care

With raised cup, salute and share

in memory of he who isn't there

In the wheel of fortune, the unseen vine

drink, be merry, wait your turn in line

When it is your turn, neither cry nor whine

everyone must taste the same deadly wine

Oh friend, lets not think of tomorrow

cherish this moment, far from sorrow

Life is a temporal gift that we borrow

whether dead for ages or leave tomorrow"...

and in homage to his genius, a little nothing from this lesser mortal 

"all the religions and philosophies, your poem transcends
 a tired soul of mine , in your love it comes and rests
 wait a while ,see the beauty it says
 drink in the dawn before dusk pervades"

...

Resolving never to watch/read political news is one of the most sensible decisions I've made in my whole unremarkable life!! I would much rather stay on the unfashionable bylanes than join the respected chaotic mainstream. At least I get to keep my sanity. To hell with all that nonsense.



-my hermitic tendencies



And by the way, calling yourself agnostic is the safest bet when you don't give a dingo's kidney about the whole issue. That way atheists won't ridicule you for being ignorant or believers won't loathe you for being arrogant plus you give out an impression that you 'think'.

-i have no idea why i said that.

To be, or not to be, that is the question.

“There is only one really serious philosophical question, and that is suicide. Deciding whether or not life is worth living is to answer the fundamental question in philosophy. All other questions follow from that.” 

opening line from the book  'The Myth of Sisyphus' by A.Camus

Needless to say, I am coming to you Mr.Camus. I want to see how you dealt wit the question. Finally, met somebody who questioned the same thing and probably came up with an answer too. Big relief. To find somebody who can understand. I don't expect any answers. It's enough just to have someone listen to you and not call you crazy.Can i drink from your well Mr. Camus ? I wanna see how that water tastes.

p.s. To all my dear readers who are also my well wishers - Oshonica has not decided to die :p . She loves mystery and what bigger mystery you have other than life? I am trying to solve it but the best part about the whole exercise is--it's never going to be solved :) . Bamboozled? don't worry.happens.peace.I have taken the 'red pill' already. The choice has been made. I am here to understand why i made it.

Review : The Road

An undefined apocalypse has wiped out life from earth. No plants no animals could escape its fury.Sun hides behind black clouds rendering earth cold and uninhabitable. Leafless trees stand burnt. Ashes of the bygone world have filled the air and even the snow is black. Lands are barren. Houses are silent and forlorn. The last few humans left on earth are either scavenging for food or have turned into lawless savage cannibals. In this desolate land, thrash around as much as you can for that last strand of hope, it won't be given to you as the god himself has turned his back upon the world he had created.

But there is a man and his little boy--each the entire world of the other-- carrying the 'fire' in their heart and walking towards south in a hope to find more food, warmth and 'good' people there. I have not enough words to describe how utterly gloomy and downbeat the whole mood of the film (and also the book) is. Don't expect any mercy. No relief is going to come your way. The irreconcilable misery engulfs you with a  force so strong that your emotions can only lump up inside your throat.You can't even shed a tear to get rid of them. And they say the movie carries only half the impact of the book on which it is based. Cormac McCarthy, a writer for whom i bend on knees in homage, has written this novel with an unforgiving boldness. I am not even halfway through the book but its brilliance is such, it takes no more than a few lines to make you realize what it is all about and what power it carries. People have killed themselves to escape the torture of a slow horrible death due to starvation or at the hands of the cannibals,whichever was to come first. But not everyone has even that luxury. The man only has one bullet left in his revolver. And such is his misery that he has to save it for his son and coax him to pull the trigger on himself if the capture is imminent. Danger lurks at every corner and you have be ready when the time comes. He calls his son his god. His only reason to be alive. and if his boy is not the word of god then god never spoke,he says.

It's an excruciatingly painful experience and go for it (book/movie) only if you have a strong heart. It would shake you back to senses if you have been too vain and ungrateful lately. But if you are already down-- keep away. It can throw you farther into the thick of gloom which will be very hard to overcome.

There is no clear optimism on offer here. just a slight may be.in the end. But that's not even the purpose of the book/movie (i think). It's all about keeping the humanity intact especially in the face of highest odds. Death spares nobody but it's important to live with virtues. And if we are to believe that the boy lives, the goodness of his tribe will perhaps resurrect humanity on a land where currently the most vicious evil prevails.

So what do we have to look out for? -- We have an undying love and concern of a father towards his son. His toils for his child's salvation. His struggle in concealing the wreck of his own emotions and make his child feel safe and protect him from the horrors and hopelessness that pervades this godless land. His endeavor in keeping the 'fire' in his son, alive. Performances are top notch. Cinematography is excellent. The encounters with cannibals and the sights of their dreadful sins will send a shiver down your spine.But the real appeal of the movie lies in its theme. Somewhere in the far corners of our mind we are aware that the possibility of such a cataclysm can't be denied. And if proper measures are not taken in time, this fiction will become our immutable reality.

There will be moments during the movie when you will want to stop watching it because it's too painful. but you will still go on. Isn't it the same with life? Love it or curse it, it goes on.

:)

ME : Shaun,you idiot! You really muck around a lot..walked on my blog page also. 

SHEEP : BAA...

Well...

2 Dan Brown + 1 Douglas Adams + 1 Leo Tolstoy + a little bit of Cory Doctorow and James Joyce + many H.P.Lovecraft + many many Mary Shelley = Hysterical Oshonica.

( So, I've become an author already.Now all I need to do is write a book :p )

Strange Connections

I have always tried to figure out why I am always so keen on visiting sea shores whenever the topic of vacation comes up. It’s as if my mind has got the words,vacation and ocean,wedded to each other forever. Not to underestimate the beauty of green hills or snowy mountains , vast deserts or eager waterfalls, but to me there is nothing as profound and mysterious as the ocean. I set out on my journey and while cruising along that serpentine hill road, no matter how tiring the journey has been,the first glimpse of that distant sparkling water lifts my spirits in a jiffy. And as I move closer,the glimpses become more and more frequent until finally the ocean reveals itself to me in it’s full dominating,magnificent glory. And for a moment,I am lost.Instead of raising the pressure on the gas pedal to hurry up the meeting ,I purposefully slow down to relish this beautiful experience. I am in no rush to hug my old pal.In fact I take it slow. I need my time to trace and reconnect my old relations with him.

I remember the first time when I went with my parents to Goa and witnessed this miracle called ocean,I was neither scared nor brimming with enthusiasm.I was instead puzzled and lost ,for I had never seen anything so huge in my tiny life span.I kept looking at it with an awe-struck and surprised countenance. So many years have gone by since then and so many visits have been made, but not a  thing has changed about my first reaction at the sight of this beautiful monster.

But once that initial stage of mute reverence wears off and I finally hit the beach,I want no more of that silent expectant wait.I just want to rush and feel the cold water kiss my feet.But my legs fail me for they aren’t made for running on that thick bed of sand. And even if anybody tries to do that, he ends up looking like a waddling little duck ,the sight of which is oddly funny. So I,condemned to being too self conscious,am forced to take it slow. But the wait is worth it. As I come nearer the water ,the joy of throwing those slippers away and feeling the cold water on my feet can’t be compared with anything else. “This is precisely what I am here for,for this very moment”, I tell myself. As I push myself farther, the waves get stronger and try to drag me along on their return journey. I wonder if it’s really the force of water or that odd desire of my heart that wants me to be washed away with it, taken away from the wretched land of sins into the timelessness of this vast ocean in front of me (don't be scared,I am not suicidal). And once again ,I feel that strange connection I had with the oceans. Something pulls me towards it. Probably, the beautiful memories I take home from my previous visits get blurred with time.They get erased,one by one and what remains with me is only the 'pleasant feeling' I had experienced.Those fogged memories further add to the surreality of the whole experience and makes it so beautifully haunting that I feel the urge to go back to it again and again to relive that old connection. I don’t exactly set out for the oceans with an idea of jumping wildly into the water.I can very well sit on the shore for long and stare at that jostling water without a blink. What a beautiful thing this ocean is! It’s serene and threatening at the same time. At times, it lies still like a wise mountain sage but when it roars in its wicked powerful rage, even the biggest of the big ships hold on to their dear lives. It has the calm of deep spiritual knowledge but also has the fury of a scorned poor man. Often it comes across as a devoted, caring father who looks after the life that’s entirely depending on him. The life that thrives in it. With so many human emotions displayed, how can we call it non living ?

Sometimes while roaming on a beach at night, if I close my eyes, the crashing sound of the waves hitting the shore gives me goose bumps. What is it? Just a massive collection of water or the nature’s beautiful liquid poetry?

May be this queer feeling comes from realizing how minuscule we are in front of this nature. Our worries, our problems, they dissolve to nothingness in this enormous ocean. And I quietly surrender myself to it, not in defeat but in awe of its ungraspable glory. In its unquestionable superiority .A complete surrender.While floating in that water, it’s not just your body but also the mind  that feels light. Because the  weight of all needless concerns and unnecessary issues which it carries, also gets lifted off. Thus,whenever I get tired of the same old daily routine, my mind desires to seek its release into the arms of the ocean. Everybody should have a place where they can completely let go of themselves and feel one with the nature. Mine is oceans. And if anybody asks me where I would want to spend my next vacation, my answer is ready. “Salty waters.Here I come, baby.”

(the urge for writing this post was kindled by Herman Melville's novel 'Moby Dick' since his thoughts on the beauty of the ocean happened to resonate with mine.The word 'ungraspable glory' has been copied unchanged from the book since it pretty much sums up the entire range of emotions which the author of the book and the owner of this blog wanted to convey.)

A Humble Request

                                                                  
Visiting my blog ?   


                                                                       
So sweet  :)



Leave comments !

Go Weird

Ha ha ha... this one's really cute :D .I remember when the first time in my life I watched a zombie movie (called 'Night of the living dead') ,for almost an hour,I was walking around in my house,acting like one of those zombies in the movie.I loved those zombie postures so much, I immediately added it to my 'crazy wish-list' to play that part in some kick-ass zombie-fest someday.

Come to think of it.Wouldn't it be so cool, scaring people with your weirdest walks and growls? I for one,would wear the quintessential zombie make up n dress and would assume that perfect 'Night Of The Living Dead' zombie posture which typically has a sloping shoulder line (one shoulder way up and other way down),one leg twisted in an abnormal angle (as much as a normal hip joint would permit ) and the other suspended loose in an attempt to make it look crippled,a walk that looks like a snail speed drag with a few sudden jerks thrown here n there,neck bent on the side of your drooping shoulder,one hand rather firm,held close to the body and the other stretched out trying to grab your victim,while making that loud grrhhh grrhhh sound :). But what use is a zombie without those million dollar facial expression? Mouth agape,staring big dark wicked eyes and face contorted to the highest grade of awkwardness and finally when that damsel hits you across your face with a religious symbol,usually a cross,you spin half a circle,let out a harsh scream,crash on the ground and lie motionless..Phew.

It's definitely not easy to play a zombie on screen.You really have to get into the skin of your character and really believe that you are that deformed, demented, ugly creature,otherwise you would never be able to make it look real on screen.You have to make sure your audience gasps and holds that breath in their chest as long as you are on screen.But perhaps,the most difficult part that needs a great deal of practice here, is to be able to control that irresistible laughter when you know you are looking your dumbest in front of the entire camera crew.You see it's not easy to do it..That's why I love you Zombie darlings.You are the best ! :D

cute,aren't they ? :p   .For more,click here

Conversations With God

I   : God ,are you there?

God (G) : Yes, my dear.

I : Oh! So you are alive!

G : Why,of course I am alive!

I : Oh..That Nietzsche guy said that you were dead and thus human beings were now free.But I thought,I should just check it out myself.

G : Oh him..Yes.He was right!

I  : What's that supposed to mean? He said you were dead but you are alive.How can he be right?

G  : Because my dear, my death was necessary for me to be truly alive.Mankind had to be freed from the false notions which they only had created ,before they could search the real me.

I  : I don't understand you.

G  : Okay! Let's make it simple.Tell me,don't you need to tear up the cover first before you can see your birthday gift? Or don't you need to break the thick outer crust before you can have that clean, sweet coconut water?

I  : Yes.

G  : So,similarly,my outer crust ,which is nothing but your conventional perception about me ,which you didn't seek yourself but was forced upon you,had to be broken first,if you really wanted to find me.

I  :  And how does one do that? 

G  : By seeking answers for yourself.A ready made answer won't work.It has to come from within you.That would go through two steps.one- questioning,analysis,and stirring up quite a storm in your head and second- settling the storm,plain observation and surrendering yourself to life right here,right now.And both the steps are essential.

I  : God, tell me, what are you really?

G  : I am what you believe me to be.

I : Can you please elaborate?

G :  I am the energy that fills this universe.It exists in different forms.Everything you see around has me in it.Living ,non living..Everything!

I  : God,tell me, are kind or cruel? If you are really that kind and loving as they say,then why do bad things happen?

G   : Energy can never be good or bad.It's like asking what blue color smells like.I am the one that keeps the wheels of this universe turning.And as far as humans are concerned,I am defined by your emotions.It's at your discretion how you want to use me..Good or bad,I become what you make of me.

I  : But what about earthquakes,floods and any other natural disaster ?

G  : I am just an energy which took several forms.Those multiple forms established a complex interplay with each other over billion billion years and through a lot of trial and error,only the best combination survived,others perished.This is why you see the universe the way it is! It has it's own rules.It works on it's own principles.

I  : To which religion do you belong ? 
G  : I don't belong to any particular religion.But all of them belong to me.They all have tried their way of knowing me,finding me,interpreting me.But again,they are only theories and not absolute truth in themselves.That's why they might work for some people but for others, they don't.Hence it is necessary that you seek your own way.

I : Do you then represent morality?

G  : No.I do not represent anything.The sense of morality is the feature of humans.It is born in your conscience over years of evolution.It's your characteristic attribute and it has changed over time.Most of the things you perceive today as cruel used to be the order of the day long time ago.If I represented morality,it would never change.But it is changing and it is refining because that is extremely important for your race to survive.You can't afford to be at war with each other anymore.

I  : God, who created you?

G  : Let me answer that question with a question..Who do you think created me?

I  : Well,I think you have been there forever. No one created you.You probably came from a place where general rules of my universe like time,dimensions don't apply.

G  : Why do you say so?

I  : Because I don't have any other answer.My capacity is limited as I am just a human being.Our scientists are trying to solve the puzzle by putting different pieces together.But we are still nowhere near answering that question.How universe formed, we have a clue,we know about electrons and positrons and how 'big bang' happened..But who made it happen and why,we don't know..That's where we bring you in.

G : If that's the way you think, then be it.

I : Why are you saying that? Are you not gonna explain it to me?

G  : One last question ..You think that you are talking to me..but check again,who are you really talking to ?

I : Oh!! ..I am..I am ...talking to myself ?? How can this be ?? Are you there or not? Oh what a mess!

G  : You see,I am still your perception.I didn't answer anything which you didn't already know.I am your belief.I am your projected image.If you want to believe in me, there will be no place where you can't see me .But if you don't want to believe, you won't find me even in the head offices of your religions i.e. your temples,churches etc.

I: Yes,may be you are right! You are my imagination.Where my reasoning fails, you begin.I had to imagine you because god,the universe you've created is so huge ,so enormously extensive that I just can't comprehend it.I am just a human who has a brain that questions a lot but it doesn't have enough ability to answer them all.We are trying to solve the puzzle,we have understood the rules that bind this universe,we have discovered solar systems and galaxies,we have launched satellites and stepped on the moon.But,it's just a tiny drop in the ocean.We are still far far away.Moreover,I cant get myself to believe in any religion,any philosophy.It is a painful and often hopeless process when you are left disappointed on both the fronts.Or may be, I am doing it all wrong.May be I am looking too hard.May be I should just keep it all aside and calm myself down.Cut out the racing thoughts and listen to the existence.It speaks your language.The atoms and their particles,the EMW and the light,the gravity,the stars the planets,this life,the trees and the people,me,every single cell in my body,you are everywhere god.You are omnipresent..But there is a difference between knowing things and actually realizing them yourself.And it's time for me to understand it,to realize it all myself.

G : Yes! Whether a believer or non believer,it doesn't matter,what matters is that you remain A SEEKER.Knowing me is an ongoing process,that's why those age old teaching don't convince you today.Because they have all remained stagnant.They refused to be changed .If you really want to find me,first you will need to break those shackles and set yourself completely free.You need to step out and cleanse your mind.Along the way,you might face periods of repeated questioning,analysis that ultimately merges with faithlessness and emptiness within you,but don't be scared.Keep going.And if you seek long enough,you will overcome that temporary phase and will reach your center of being and you will become one with the universe.The chaos,the turbulence will end and that's where you will find me!!

( these are purely my views,my way of understanding and making sense of things that have haunted the mankind.I do not claim to know it all,in fact I am as confused as everyone else.this article wasn't written with the purpose of hurting anyone's religious sentiments.and it is in no way meant to please anybody.i write for myself and it's not my problem if you can't agree with me.....sorry about the rudeness !! )

Commonwealth, whose wealth ?

Now that the Independence day celebrations are over,it's time to throw away those rose-tinted glasses and do some serious reality check.The news that is religiously making it to the headlines daily for the last two weeks is about Commonwealth Games 2010 (CWG). Sadly, it has hit the screens for all wrong reasons.i.e. the delays and the massive corruption involved in CWG preparations! Now,corruption is not a new word for us Indians.But this time, it's murkier, uglier than ever for two reasons.One, the sheer amount of money involved and second, this time India's reputation at an international level is at stake.Day after day,reports on the horrendous business that has been going on in the name CWG are shaking the nation.The facts and figures that have come out are eye popping .mind numbing. brain squirming.Call it whatever you want.It is that bad! We have perhaps broken our own record at the shamelessness of this country's political leaders and bureaucrats.A few facts about this dirty business,

1) Treadmills HIRED at Rs. 9 lakh/month....( didn't you know? they make your feet run automatically. Just push the button and go to sleep,your legs will do the running. )

2) Air conditioners HIRED at Rs. 2 lakh/month... ( who signed this contract...show me your feet ! )

3) Toilet paper bought at Rs. 3757 .. ( samza karo yaar. Bade log, badi baatein! )

4) Umbrellas on HIRE at Rs. 6000 per piece..( This is a gem! I would rather get wet and catch flu than have that cursed umbrella. )

5) Chairs HIRED at a price that would buy an entire chair making industry.

6) Refrigerator HIRED for Rs. 45000 ... ( How cold is that! :O Plain brutal. )

7) World class construction that leaks on the day of inauguration.

8) Major contracts given off to companies with tainted reputation.

9) Obscene amounts spent on buying the saplings which never got planted .Now, they stand waiting under the hot sun.Wonder which 'green' is burning here.Plants or our money? Sadly, both!

And the above list is just the tip of the ice-berg.Massive amounts of , 'no holds barred' corruption, which is totally beyond my comprehension, has happened in road widening,building new stadiums n upgrading old ones and god knows what not.It's all so disgusting.Now,I am a person who only rarely watches news on TV.Basically because they are mostly rigged and almost always depressing.But on one fine day, I thought may be,as a responsible citizen, I should know what's happening in my country.So, I switch on the TV and these are the updates I get. 

There are only a few things in the world that make you so badly sick that your mind refuses to believe them just to avoid the mental trauma. This shameless corruption definitely falls under that category.It is so bad,so outrageous, it makes my head spin. Brazen lies, fabricated reports and sheer wastage of honest taxpayer's money...words fall short while describing this shabby business. All politicians and 'babu log' who are involved in this, have literally murdered India's reputation in front of the whole world.And that hurts really bad !

Now,the only way left to save our grace is that at least the games should be conducted properly.I am praying that no roof should cave in when the games are in progress and that no stage should collapse when the winners are being honored ( but if a corrupt politician is standing on it,please let it collapse and eat that poison rat ! ).It's a helpless situation and I can only hope that after the games are over and the players have gone back to their respective countries,proper machinery will be put in place to identify the culprits and noose around them will be tightened enough, so that those rodents won't slip out through the narrow cracks in our judicial system and thus,such incidents will not happen in the future.But then, I can only hope. 

On a lighter note,looking at this whole thing,I sometimes wonder if the organizers of CWG thought that the funds allocated for the games were "their common wealth" that was supposed to be spent on themselves and not those stupid games..

Jai Hind!